Sabbath Study: Side

1. Communal lunch
2. Testimonies
3. Prayer
4. Worship music: “Shema” and “Gadol Elohai” by Joshua Aaron, “The Spirit and the Bride” by Linda Conley, “Spirit Lead Me” by Michael Ketterer, “Let Your Glory Fall” by Paul Wilbur
5. Word study: Side
6. Song: “Lover of My Soul” by Jonathan Reynolds
7. Torah study: Joshua 14, Isaiah 43, John11
8. Song: “Four Days Late” by Karen Peck and New River

Marriage the Biblical Way

Divorce and Remarriage

Marriage is a contract. Like any other contract. As usual, we need to start at the beginning to understand both marriage and divorce. In the very beginning, we see with Adam and Eve, that YHVH’s (God’s) PERFECT will and design for marriage was one man/one woman forever. Then the fall happened and everything changed. One thing that changed because of man (remember, God changes not, it’s MANKIND that changes) is marriage. Now, one way that marriage is broken is by the death of at least one of the spouses. Remember, before the fall, there was no death…. thus, one man one woman forever, was the original, perfect plan.

We do know that Divorce is NOT sin, or else YHVH (God) sinned. That is another thing that changed about marriage after the fall. But we will see this as we go along. I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself.

A conditional contract/covenant is an agreement voluntarily entered into by two parties. The agreement contains specific, agreed upon ‘conditions’ to which both parties are obligated. In the event that one party violates the contract, the party who has kept the conditions of the contract may take action.  They may prosecute at law for recompenses or void/annul the contract all together.

This is evidenced by several factors:

1. The fact that the vows are made to each other as to the behavior that would be promised.
2. The fact that divorce is built into marital law.
3. The fact that YHVH (God) divorced Israel when He found fault with them that he could not tolerate.

Divorce is a complete LAWFUL severing of the marriage contract. In the case of YHVH and Israel at Mt. Sinai, Israel (the bride) accepted the marital terms by agreeing to obey His laws and submit to His authority …. Exodus 19:3-8

YHVH agreed to be a husband to them, reward them with Kingdom and give them blessings of the birthright…righteousness, security, provisions and children….as stated in Gen 12: 1-3

Israel violated the marital covenant and refused to repent….therefore, YHVH(her husband) divorced her and sent her out of His house….Jer 3:8

Clearly, since YHVH does not sin, divorce is allowed. Divorce itself is not a sin, it is the SOLUTION to sin.

Let’s look at YHVH’s perfect Law on divorce and remarriage at it is written…not as we have been TOLD it is written.

• Deu 24:1  When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.
• Deu 24:2  And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife.
• Deu 24:3  And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife;
• Deu 24:4  Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.

Notice, YHVH states that there must be a cause of divorcement. The factors of ‘uncleanness’ are not detailed and could be numerous, but other than finding something unclean, there is no such thing as a ‘faultless divorce’. Some insist that ‘uncleanness’ means adultery and that sultry is the only just cause of divorce, but this is based on TRADITION, and not anything written in Scripture. The penalty for adultery is NOT divorce, The penalty for adultery is DEATH. So ‘uncleanness’ can not mean adultery.

Also based on tradition, it has been taught that divorce is only lawful if the wife defrauded her husband about her virginity and he discovers otherwise. But again, the penalty for that is DEATH…deut 22:13-21 (I must interject here and say…and this is my OPINION ONLY…that Joseph must of love and respected Mary a HUGE AMOUNT, because when she turned up pregnant with Y’shua…Jesus….he could have had her stoned, yet was going to put her away privately….that is so sweet…to me anyway)

The wife also had a right to a divorce of the same reasons AS WELL AS for lack of support(Basic provisions and marital relations) exodus 21:10,11

YHVH’s law REQUIRES a written document, He calls a ‘writ of divorcement’ or a ‘bill of divorcement’ He made this point very carefully and clearly that He required a written document of divorce to be handed to the person being sent away, or they were NOT LEGALLY DIVORCED.

It is not difficult to understand why YHVH demands this procedure. Without the proof of a writ, proving legal severing of the marital union, in the event the former wife remarries, she could be vulnerable to the accusation of adultery, as would her new husband and remember, the penalty for adultery is DEATH for BOTH parties.

Justice is assured with the proof of a writ bill. It is a requirement to have this so she can remarry. Notice how Deut 24:2 CLEARLY states that after having this written proof, SHE IS FREE TO REMARRY.

On the other hand, without a writ, her remarriage would NOT BE VALID and she and her partner are guilty of adultery.

Deut 24: 3,4 clearly states that remarriage to a former spouse AFTER A REMARRIAGE is strictly forbidden. Once a remarriage has taken place, she can NOT EVER marry a former husband again.

This law demonstrates without question that YHVH acknowledges

1. The legitimacy of the second marriage as well as
2. The validity of the binding nature of the bill of divorcement to be a legal and complete severing of the marital union.

This serious issue is easily remedied with a simple word study.

PUT AWAY vs. DIVORCE

Put away: comes from the Hebrew words Shalach (to send away) or Garish (to drive away) these 2 words mean ultimately the same thing, though one is more forceful of an action. When regarding a husband and wife, it describes the act of separating, where a husband sends his wife out of the house. We have this same principle today. It’s called a ‘separation’ where she is sent away and sexual contact ceases. It is not a divorce.

Divorce: is from the Hebrew word Kerithuth (to divorce) This word refers to the legal process where a marriage union is LAWFULLY TERMINATED. It is only used 4 times in the Old testament that I can find. Each time it is used, is it connected with the complete phrase ‘bill of divorcement’ (deut 24:1-3.…2 times in this passage,Isaiah 50:1, Jer 3:8) There is no opportunity for misunderstanding this word. This is the only manner in which this word is ever used.

In the greek in the new testament, the word for ‘put away’ is Apoluoapu = away from. Luo= To send away, to dismiss, to separate. This word indicates separating or putting away.

The greek word for divorce is Apostasion. Apo=away from. Stasis= standing, established by law. It is clear that Apostasion indicates more than simply separating or putting away. It is the lawful dissolving of the marriage contract, by a writ bill of divorcement.(away from what was established by law).

When these words are used together, you can see that this completes the procedure of a legal divorce in YHVH’s eyes…giver her the writ of divorcement…Apostation…and send her out of your house…apoluo.

Many teach that there is no such thing as a ’true divorce’ in the eyes of YHVH. They insist that a divorce legally obtained is merely a SEPARATION. This  is not scriptural and leads to the further erroneous belief that remarriage is always adultery against the former spouse.

Yet, we have already seen that Yah allows divorce when it is properly obtained. We have seen that ‘put away’ refers to lawful separation, while the word divorce refers to the actual lawful dissolution (written out and handed to) of the marriage contract.

The fact that YHVH allows not only a ‘putting away’ but allows for divorce, shows that it is not a SIN.

I heard for years, that YHVH ‘allowed’ the ‘sin of divorce’ during Moses’ time, because of the hardness of their hearts (we will look at that shortly), but I had to ask myself honestly, “Since WHEN does YHVH ‘allow’ sin of any kind?” He doesn’t….ESPECIALLY during Moses’ time, when He actually, literally Dwelt in their Midst!!!! So, I knew that saying was not correct, but at the time I didn’t know why it wasn’t correct.

Putting away and divorce must go together. YHVH’s instructions require that a ‘bill of divorcement’ must always accompany the act of separation…or ‘putting away’ our of the home. Without such a written document, the simple act of putting away does NOT constitute a lawful divorce in the eyes of YHVH and she is not at liberty to remarry.

The 2 terms are not the same, they ARE different from each other in action and meaning, as we see their dual usage in the same sentence (deut 24:1 and Jer 3:8). You might think this is nit picky, but it is not. We must have this basic understanding of the actual words used, when we attempt to understand Yeshiva’s (Jesus’) words in Matthew 5:32

Did Y’shua forbid Divorce in Mark 10: 2-12? The Phaisees asked Y’shua if it were lawful to put away ones wife. He answered the question by asking them what Moses said. By referring them to Torah. They replied that Moses commanded to write a bill of divorcement AND to put her away. Y’shua then replied, “for the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept’. He continued to explain that divorce, while legitimately given, was only to solve the problems man creates for one another. It was necessary BECAUSE men have hard hearts. Creation was perfect and marriage was SUPPOSED TO BE everlasting. Notice the use of the word ‘put away’ and the word ‘divorce’ and how they are used in verses 2-9. Now look at verses 11 and 12. Y’shua CORRECTLY states that if a man ‘puts away’ apolu .. His wife and marries another, he commits adultery against her. Why? Because apolu is not divorce. He is still legally married to her. Same in v12. If the woman ‘puts away…again the word used is apolu…and marries another, it’s adultery. Why? Because apolu is not divorce. She is still legally married.

You see, Y’shua acknowledges the sadness of the need for divorce, but also recognizes it is allowed. Just like the death penalty for first degree murder offenses. He supports the application of this, but mankind was NOT designed for that. We were designed to live in peace and unity with each other and Him. For the hardness of our hearts, this a part of our governance.

ALL laws exist because of the hardness of men’s hearts. If all men were perfect, there would be no need for laws. When a marriage contract has been broken, and particularly if repentance is rejected, divorce might be the only resolution. YHVH does not mandate an innocent spouse to uphold a contract that was violated by an unrepentant guilty spouse. That would require YHVH to hold an innocent person victim to the choices of a guilty person with no way out.

The marital contract is conditional.

Yeshua (Jesus) did not say divorce was a sin. He simply stated that it was a sad reality due to the hardness of men’s hearts. That is not saying that YHVH was forced into allowing laws on divorce that are sinful. If divorce were a sin, that YHVH allowed, then YHVH was legalizing sin. This would contradict all of scripture about the Law…that it is perfect, liberty, a blessing, etc. Psalm 19:7 that “The Law of YHVH is PERFECT, converting the soul.”

So now we come to Matthew 5: 31, 32.  Did Y’shua FORBID remarriage after divorce or not? With all due respect to all the different translations out there, sometimes translations don’t really help much. Sometimes we have to go to the Greek words to see what it is saying. I will be posting the passage WITH the strongs numbers beside the words, so it will be easier for you to see.

Here it is in the KJV:Mat 5:31  It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: Mat 5:32  But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Now, before I go further, let me review one more time the Greek words used. The words ‘put away’ is strongs number  630 Apoluoapu = away from. Luo= To send away, to dismiss, to separate. This word indicates separating or putting away.

The greek word for divorce is  Strongs number 647 Apostasion. Apo=away from. Stasis= standing, established by law. Now, lets look at these verses with the Strong’s numbers beside the words:

Mat 5:31  It(G1161) hath been said,G4483 WhosoeverG3739 G302 shall put awayG630 hisG848 wife,G1135 let him giveG1325 herG846 a writing of divorcement:G647

Mat 5:32  ButG1161 IG1473 sayG3004 unto you,G5213 ThatG3754 whosoeverG3739 G302 shall put awayG630 hisG848 wife,G1135 saving forG3924 the causeG3056 of fornication,G4202 causethG4160 herG846 to commit adultery:G3429 andG2532 whosoeverG3739 G1437 shall marryG1060 her that is divorcedG630 committeth adultery.G3429

Now look at it. In v31 the word for’shall put away’ is 630..the word for ‘put away’ and the word for divorcement is 647…the word for divorce. Now look at verse 32. It says that whoever PUTS AWAY his wife, except for fornication, causes her to commit adultery and whoever marries her who is DIVORCED commits adultery. Only it does NOT say that. Look closely at the word used for divorced. It has the strongs number 630. That is NOT the word for divorce. That is the word for  PUT AWAY.

CORRECTLY translated, this verse is saying:

Mat 5:31  “And it has been said, ‘Whoever puts away his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’

Mat 5:32  “But I say to you that whoever puts away his wife, except for the matter of fornication,  makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a woman who has been put away commits adultery.

This is not saying whoever marries that is DIVORCED, but whoever marries someone PUT AWAY. And as we have already seen, someone who is ‘put away’ is NOT divorced.

So what does this mean? These men were not giving a writ of divorcement which meant the women were abandoned and penniless. (because if only ‘put away’ their dowry did not have to be given back) Y’shua was correcting the error of NOT following the Torah.

The phrase ‘saving for the cause of fornication’. Most people have been taught, based on the translation error we just uncovered, that it means if a wife commits adultery, then and only then, is it lawful to divorce her. But it does NOT say, ‘except for the cause of ADULTERY’. And remember, the penalty for adultery was not divorce, but DEATH to BOTH parties doing the adultery.

Why is it acceptable to Messiah to ‘put away’ one’s spouse without divorce papers in a case of fornication? Lets look at the words for fornication and adultery fornication…Porneia..incest, homosexuality, prostitution, etc forbidden/invalid marriages.

Adultery…Moichea….sexual relations with a person legally married to another.

We see these 2 words are not the same, and are, in fact, often listed separately  in a list of sins (Matthew 5:19, Mark 7:21-22 to name two examples).

In 1 Cor 5:1 we see fornication listed as incest. (the man having relations with his fathers wife). Which is forbidden in Leviticus 18: 7,8. In Jude 7 we read fornication is ‘going after strange flesh’ (see also gen 19:4-8). The unions listed as fornication are all forbidden unions by Torah law, and are therefore, illegitimate. YHVH does not recognize them as lawful marriages.

Lets look at Matthew 19:9 Messiah AGAIN states that who ever ‘puts away’ his wife…except for fornication….and marries another, commits adultery and whoever harries her which is ‘put away’ commits adultery. He does not say those who are divorced….He says those ‘put away’.